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April, 2012

  1. When the Muse Beckons

    April 26, 2012 by katemeadows

    Let’s face it. Not always (okay, rarely) is the muse at our beck and call. How often do we sit at the keyboard, or before a blank piece of paper or an apathetic journal, just trying to find words?

    I hope we do this a lot. So often, that seemingly simple task of just showing up is half the battle.

    I don’t know why that muse, that complete and exciting inspiration to write, is so elusive. I don’t know why it seems to be so shy. I don’t know why summoning the muse doesn’t work.

    But here is what I do know. When that muse comes knocking, you had better drop everything and answer the door.

    Copyright 2009, Kate Meadows, Wyoming.

    Her timing is terrible sometimes, isn’t it? But let me ask you: Have you ever regretted tapping into her when she’s there? Even if it means not getting dinner on the table in time, picking up your kids five minutes late from soccer practice, or missing out on your favorite weekly tv show?

    Lately, my muse has been showing up in brief five-minute pockets. Maybe I’m folding laundry or taking a shower or even editing a section of my book (doing this very work of writing). All of a sudden, a bud of an idea is there in the forefront of my mind, waiting to be plucked and tended to. If I don’t snatch it up, it will disappear, back into the grainy dirt of the imagination likely never to be seen again.

    When she strikes at these inopportune times, believe me, I don’t drop everything and write for the next two hours, fully developing this one particle of an idea. It would be nice to do that sometimes, but yes, reality and life get in the way. Don’t feel like you have to create a whole new world or write an entire book as soon as she shows up.

    The point is to acknowledge that she’s there and, as best you can given your present circumstance, take action. Responding to the muse is all about being proactive. But being proactive doesn’t always look like a two-hour marathon writing session when other responsibilities await.

    Mystery and thriller writer Kerry Greenwood said, “If I ever saw my muse she would be an old woman with a tight bun and spectacles poking me in the middle of the back and growling, ‘Wake up and write the book!’”

    Oh, that muse. She is tricky.

    How do you define your relationship with her?

     


  2. Making Progress without the Clock

    April 23, 2012 by katemeadows

    Copyright 2008, Kate Meadows, Danbury, CT.

    Last week, I wrote about The Art of the To-Do List, and advocated that quality of time spent working on something is more important than quantity of time. A dear follower of mine wondered how I feel about the progress I’ve been making on my writing-related projects in light of this less structured system. It seems counter-intuitive, almost, to throw out the clock and live moment-by-moment at a time when not one but two books are wrapping up and deadlines are looming.

    Here is what’s going on right now: I am in the final editing phase of a small family business history, a comprehensive book in which I have collected dozens of memories from the business’ customers, family and friends to create a portrait of the business’ 50 years of operation. I will self-publish the book. I am hard at work tying up these final edits, but because of the volume of memories people sent in to me, I am managing a workload far greater than I envisioned when I first set out on this project. (And that’s a good problem. People responded to my call to help keep this business’ legacy alive.)

    Meanwhile, a publisher is interested in the book of personal essays I have been shopping around for the past two years. She wants to publish my book Tough Love: A Wyoming Childhood, this year. I am preparing to submit a final version of the book to her, to begin the publishing process.

    And meanwhile, I am the mom of a two-year-old, with another on the way.

    Is this nuts? How did it happen that all of these balls are in the air at once?

    Yes, I say. It IS nuts. But it’s a series of happy circumstances that all somehow came together at once. Tough to juggle right now? You bet. But look at what’s happening.

    It’s all totally exciting.

    So enter again my throw-out-the-clock task management system. Here is what I’m finding. Using the time I have to write to simply move forward on a project, rather than trying to force a goal out of that time (ie. finish editing 1990s section for small business history in one hour) instantly relieves unnecessary pressure and helps me to work smarter. By replacing concrete goals with the simple idea of moving forward, I make progress every time I sit down to work. And I find so much more satisfaction in that. I produce better work, because my mind is free of the cluttered “have-to’s.” (ie. You have to finish this in 45 minutes. If you don’t …”)

    Copyright 2008, Kate Meadows, Danbury, CT.

    But what IF, you might ask, using this system, I fail to get the necessary work done on time? What IF I miss a deadline?

    What if?

    This same follower who asked about my progress said she simply has to take time for the things that are most important to her.

    I agree. And that, to me, is where faith comes in.

    Right now, getting the work done well is more important to me than any deadline. (I realize this can’t always be the case, that we all have hard-and-fast deadlines that need to be met and that’s just a part of life. But I also think we can make deadlines, especially self-imposed ones, much too important. Certainly, this IS a delicate balance.) Right now, not neglecting my son or my duties as Mom is more important than finishing the 1990s edits in an hour. If I make a deadline but in the process fail to meet my son’s needs, I do not consider myself accomplished.

    And I trust that, by moving forward one step at a time and keeping the most important things in focus, my work will be completed and strong in the appropriate time. And right now, for these particular projects, that’s what matters most.


  3. The Full Time Tightrope

    April 19, 2012 by katemeadows

    Every day, I ask myself if I’m doing the right thing.

    Being a stay-at-home mom AND writer.

    Not working full time.

    Copyright 2007, Kate Meadows, Indiana.

    Last week, my dad called me to ask if I had been watching the news. I told him I hadn’t – I am knee-deep in final revisions on two books, and the day he called happened to be one of my two work days a week. I was swamped.

    Of course I assumed the worst. An earthquake? A bomb exploding in a school?

    No. He was calling to tell me about Hilary Rosen, the Democratic strategist who attacked Ann Romney’s integrity by questioning her decision to stay at home to raise five boys.

    Rosen’s by now well-known comment that Romney “actually never worked a day in her life” set off a pinging fire inside me. But what got me more than that was her assertion that because she stays at home, Romney – and thereby all stay-at-home moms – is clueless about the deep economic issues that ripple through our country.

    If anyone knows better than a mom how to put food on the family table each night, show me. If anyone is more familiar with the rise and fall of milk prices at the grocery store, show me. If anyone in the family is more conscious of the family budget, show me.

    Isn’t that what these economic issues boil down to?

    Copyright 2012, Kate Meadows, Anaheim, CA.

    I get that Rosen is probably not out to attack stay-at-home moms, that questioning the integrity of a woman’s decision to stay home with her kids is not a key focus of her agenda. For the most part, I cast Rosen off as a talking head who for just a moment got herself in hot water on national television, being expected to, well, say something. Attacking a political candidate’s wife for her “work” choice is akin to attacking a player on an opposing baseball team for his color of underwear. The attack has nothing to do with the competition at hand.

    But I still can’t let Rosen’s comments slide without taking a stand for the hard work I and other at-home parents do every day.

    Being a mom is the hardest work of my life. Throw writing into the mix – because I can’t not do it – and that work becomes a delicate balancing act, focusing on two fierce loves at once. All the time.

    The million-and-one decisions that come and go, the moment-by-moment living that being around a two-year-old requires, no matter how organized or structured a person you are, the absolute crucial importance of maintaining confidence day in and day out. Why?

    To always have your family’s best interests at heart.

    Copyright 2010, Kate Meadows, Omaha, NE.

    In his book Spirituality of the Cross, Gene Edward Veith, Jr., refers to the family as the most fundamental aspect of our vocation. Martin Luther calls us to a life of service, saying, “Each one ought to live, speak, act, hear, suffer and die in love and service for another.”

    My husband the other day referred to stay-at-home moms as one of the most selfless jobs. Not the most glamorous, he says, but the most important. I am grateful to him for saying that.

    President Obama called mothering the toughest job. I am grateful for his acknowledgment.

    I strive to serve my family every day. Whether it’s taking time to feed my son a scrambled egg, read just one more book to him at his request, let him play by himself while I wash the dishes or muster up the energy to run errands and still have time to squeeze in a trip to the library before a certain 2-year-old’s nap time, I am working.

    I strive to tend to my writing every day. Whether it’s brainstorming topics for blog posts, capturing memories from the life of a 2-year-old, reading a literary magazine or making final edits on a book, I am working.

    I can’t not be a mom. “Mom” is the highest calling that has ever been placed on me.

    I can’t not be a writer. Writing is the indisputable gift God has given me, to serve others outside my family.

    Give up one for the other, and I am no longer a whole person. I am a better mom because I still make time to write and feed that fire. I am a better writer because I am living the daily challenges of motherhood.

    Two loves. One life.

    I work. Every day. Full time.

     


  4. The Art of the To-Do List

    April 16, 2012 by katemeadows

    As transitions come and go in life, I have found my method of making to-do lists evolve.

    I used to be bound by the clock. To-do lists looked something like this:

    Early a.m. – write for 45 mins.

    Short walk/workout 20 mins.

    a.m. grad school work 2 hrs

    essay submitting 1 hr

    lunch

    And so on.

    Life with kids wants to throw clocks and time out the window. Rarely can I plan a full hour of doing one thing. And if I do, that hour either flies by and I am nowhere near finishing the task I gave myself just 60 minutes to do, or that hour is pockmarked with interruptions. (“Mommy, Daddy and I are coloring chalk outside! Mommy, I don’t know where my ball is.” The phone rings, etc.)

    For a while I marched through this method of to-dos anyway, keeping a loose list of tasks to accomplish in my head. The problem was, I was so stuck on time (how much time are you spending on XX project?) that I lost sight of the importance of quality. I was more focused on quantity (eight hours on a project in a given week was surely better than a paltry two hours) of work time than the work that was actually being done.

    And you know what? I felt totally unsatisfied. No matter how much time I poured into my work, I rarely emerged feeling accomplished, excited or refreshed. More often than not, I felt more tired and more stressed, shaking my fist in frustration over there never being enough time do to anything.

    “Time is like money,” my husband said at the dinner table recently. “We can’t ever seem to have enough.”

    He’s right, if we let ourselves think that way. But here is another perspective to consider: What if time doesn’t matter?

    My most recent to-do list looks like this:

    Wash 2 loads of clothes

    Fold 2 loads of clothes

    Anderson family reunion project work

    Small business history work

    Play with my son

    Rest

    Take dog for walk

    Tasks listed in no particular order, with absolutely no time frame. If I spend even just five minutes on one of them, I get to cross the task of my list. Task, for today, completed. Moving on. Mission today accomplished.

    I feel so much more freedom in structuring my days this way, rather than being bound by the clock. True, sometimes we have no choice but to be slaves to the clock. Appointments happen, obligations have to be met, certain things do require a specific amount of time.

    But many daily tasks and projects don’t have to be so structured. I find with my newest version of the to-do list, more freedom and a much greater sense of accomplishment.

    Sometimes, less truly is more.

     


  5. Signature Scent (A Story of the Family Business)

    April 12, 2012 by katemeadows

    With the small business history, Bucky’s: Stories and Recollections from 50 Years in Business soon to be published, I share today one of the knock-out stories that will appear in the book. This memory is shared by my dad, who reluctantly joined the family business full time after graduating college in 1975, seeing no other choice. The business, Bucky’s Repair, operated a hide and fur business on the side as a way of diversifying business and adding income. Here, a glimpse into my grandfather’s crazy notions as a self-taught wildlife expert and businessman, and just how far one family would go to earn a buck.

    “Coyote prices had gone way up, and Dad had perfected what he thought was the all-time best coyote scent. It took him a year to get it just right: a potion of rotten fish, ground up beaver glands and other juices. He buried this stuff for one year to let it age, and age it did. When we dug up the scent and opened it, we could not stand to be within a block of the stuff.

    Dad used eye droppers to divide the potion into small vials, dispensing one drop at a time. In the fall, he set out a large coyote trap line. He was very excited to go for the first follow-up run to see how the potion worked.

    Well, it worked extremely well: His traps were full of badgers. It seemed his potion was exactly what badgers craved. Dad had a dilemma. How could he catch coyotes if badgers kept getting into his traps?

    Being ever so creative Dad thought he would trap badgers that fall, to get them out of circulation. But it would be silly to just trap them and kill them, since badger fur could net him some money. The problem was that badgers don’t get prime until March. He had to figure out a way to keep them until March, when their fur would be prime and worth a sale. His solution was to trap beaver and use the beaver carcasses for badger food. Doing this, he figured he could keep the badgers alive until they grew prime.

    That fall, thanks to his signature coyote scent, we ended up with 29 badgers in three pens out behind the shop. Dad made the pens himself, with wire and hog rings and two-by-four legs and frames. The badgers fought like crazy, day and night. They were very snarly, with deep-throated growls, very vicious sounding. We had never given a thought to the possibility of their fighting, until we put them in the cages together. With all of the fighting going on, we knew we had to call the local vet; now we were dealing with a bunch of badger wounds. Once a week, the local veterinarian, Glenn Millard, came to the shop to doctor the wounded animals. Dr. Millard would apply antibiotics from a distance with a swab on a stick.

    Once, the chief of police, Win Farnsworth, came by to inspect the place. He was a former FBI agent from Texas who had come to Sublette County and hired us to take him on a bear hunt. He had fallen in love with the country, gave up his FBI job and moved to Pinedale. Now as Chief of Police, he had received reports that cock fights were taking place behind Bucky’s. When we showed him what we had, he was relieved we weren’t having cock fights. He said he would be happy to report there were no cock fight going on at Bucky’s. That was that.

    By mid-January, the beaver meat ran out. We had no choice but to shoot the badgers, skin them, and work the fur up to be sold. They brought an average price of $10.00 each, which was very low. A good, prime pelt in March would have brought us $30-$35.  But the price of beaver had gone way up, so Dad made out good, anyway. He didn’t use the potion any more. He didn’t need it. We were all beyond glad, as none of us could stand to ride in Dad’s truck that fall.

    For more about the project, or to pre-order a book, visit www.buckysstory.com.

     


  6. House of Blues

    April 9, 2012 by katemeadows

    Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I found myself in a strange place. The sun was blazing, and fountains were shooting up glistening water wherever I turned. Familiar cartoon faces greeted me here and there: Jiminy Cricket, Mickey Mouse, Lightning McQueen.

    We walked up a daunting flight of stairs and into a dimly lit building. We stood in line with hundreds of other people, and were soon ushered to long tables with folding wooden chairs. A tremendous stage sprawled before us, and when the show started, we were nearly knocked off our feet by the throaty walk of a bass guitar, slamming drums and a robust Gospel choir dressed in bright yellows and purples.

    We were at Easter brunch at the House of Blues in Downtown Disney.

    An eclectic place to celebrate our risen Lord, I thought.

    My husband and I had imagined a more traditional Easter holiday. We would invite some friends over, probably bake a ham, enjoy each other’s company. Sweet potatoes would be involved, for sure, as would my own pressure on myself to get the house clean by the time friends arrived.

    Then our pastor’s wife invited us – and the friends we were going to have over to our place – to this gospel show. Downtown Disney. Middle of the day. Tickets were, for our budget, expensive.

    There were a handful of reasons to say no, turn down the invite, but none of them seemed good enough. Our friends were on board. A little creative working could get us around the budget issue. We won’t be in California forever – why not spend time in the land of Disney while it’s right out our back door?

    So we went. The day was warm and the sun was powerful. I thought back to the many Easters I celebrated in western Wyoming growing up. Snow was usually still on the ground. Wearing an Easter dress was always a challenge – was it more important to wear that fun, cute little dress or not freeze?

    I looked around at the bustling sidewalks and outdoor sections of cafes at Downtown Disney. So often, because the idea was so foreign to me, I had wondered, who goes to Disney on a holiday? Who would choose to eat a holiday meal here, when a bazillion and one restaurants abound in Orange County? Well, now us, it turned out. Back in Wyoming, the afternoon might have included a ham dinner baked by Mom, complete with sweet potatoes and other fixings, pie, and plenty of chocolate Easter candy. A Scrabble game might have ensued or a long nap on the couch with a game on TV in the background.

    Here, at the House of Blues, we waited in long lines at steaming buffets. Since this was a brunch, the smorgasbord was big: bacon and waffles and omelets, fried chicken and macaroni and cheese and potatoes, even jambalaya. Some of the offerings were so unfamiliar to me I could hardly look at them – Easter, to me, has always been about tradition and familiarity – but the staples were there: ham and sweet potatoes and really good breakfast food.

    I willed away the ache of homesickness as the stout, classily-dressed women walked onto the stage. “All the way from San Diego,” I heard someone say, and I thought, here I am, all the way from Wyoming, about to clap with a southern California gospel band at Disney for Easter.

    The music was loud. So loud, I took my two-year-old son out of the show area and upstairs to a quieter part of the restaurant. But there, he danced and sang and had a grand time with the music, now less booming. “It’s just too loud,” he told me matter-of-factly, at one point. I had to smile and nuzzle his cheek.

    The steaming food was beyond any offering I would have put out for Easter. But the stuff with which I filled my plate was delicious, and I went back for more. The California sunshine that beat down on Downtown Disney was a far cry from the not-yet-spring cold I am so used to this time of year.

    But, it all added up to a new and worthwhile experience.

    Afterward, as my husband, son and I strolled among the shops around the House of Blues, I told him, “This is not a place I ever would have chosen to go to on my own for Easter. But sometimes, that’s why I think God puts various people in our lives. He surrounds us with a variety of unique personalities to stretch us and help us think outside our own comfortable little boxes.”

    Had our pastor’s wife not invited us out for this unique event, the thought to come here never would have crossed my radar. But thanks to her, I can say I’ve experienced something new. And lived a little bit more.

    *What new experience has stretched your comfort zone lately?


  7. Ordinary Struggles Through Extraordinary Writing (Part II)

    April 5, 2012 by katemeadows

    The second of a two-part review of Rick Bragg’s Somebody Told Me. New York: Vintage Books, 2000

    Bragg’s is an extraordinary brand of journalism, because it is not rushed, yet it still manages to tell a complete story that digs beneath the news aspect to peel back the human element of a real-life situation. He writes with a quiet, awe-inspired tone, unveiling a story little by little but still managing to pack in plenty of meat. In Port-au-Prince, Haiti, “what the armed thugs have left behind is the dried-out husk of a country that offers America little except leaky boatloads of desperate people and, for a few enterprising American businesses, people who are willing to work like dogs for $3 a day” (56). In “Band Plays on for Class of ‘39” (109-116), he writes:

    The survivors are 67 to 69 years old. Most completed careers. They are old enough to draw Social Security. They drive big cars made in Detroit. Most vote Republican. They are fond of bright green pants. And there is more life behind them than ahead of them (110).

    Image courtesy of www.shopping.com

    One tight paragraph gives me such a complete idea of who these characters are, making even the trivial details enticing, that I want to keep reading. By packing seemingly inconsequential details into tight sentences, Bragg makes the people and situations more real.

    I notice the way he brings out contrasts to make a story more compelling. Thomas Gurley was once a kidnapper; now he has trouble holding a spoon (24). “The Smith case pitted a man who wants children against a woman who threw hers away” (240). “Marquee signs that once advertised fried catfish promised prayer” (248).

    With this technique, Bragg effectively grasps the irony of every-day situations, adding yet another layer of depth to his feature reporting.

    Bragg has made a living telling other people’s stories, and in that sense, I want to emulate him. I don’t just want to make a living telling stories; I want to do so with the same sensitivity and emotion Bragg does. As I read about life in the Hamilton Prison for the Aged and Infirm and come to know one of the prison wards, Mr. Berry (23-28), I think about feature writing as a way to express recognition to those who live in the shadows, those whose jobs we take for granted yet depend on for the good of our society every single day.

    The final sentence in a story about shootings in New York bodegas is: “No one has figured out a way to put the bullet back in the gun” (52). Here is journalism with a purpose at its best. Bragg exposes me to a terrifying problem and walks away with his hands in the air, compelling me to do the same.

    We ask, together, “How do we, as human beings just as ordinary as the victims and the survivors, solve this?”

    It is a question I want to make my mission as a writer, as one who makes a living telling people’s stories. And it is a question I want to instill in my sons, as they come and burst into the world.

    *See Rick Bragg on writing and the South here.


  8. Ordinary Struggles Through Extraordinary Writing (Part 1)

    April 2, 2012 by katemeadows

    A Review of Rick Bragg’s Somebody Told Me. New York: Vintage Books, 2000

    I was seven weeks pregnant, and I was reading about teenagers who kill people with guns. The fears and insecurities I had of bringing a baby into this suffering world were magnified by each horrifying story I read in Rick Bragg’s “Schoolyard” section of his collection of newspaper stories, Somebody Told Me.

    Image courtesy of www.shopping.com

    This is not fiction. It is real. And Bragg has a way of penetrating each story to probe at the heart of just what is going on and what is at stake.

    That, though, is what makes Bragg a top-notch journalist, a writer I only wish I could emulate in the human interest pieces I have dug up with my own pen and notebook over the years. While many of his stories are vivid illustrations of pain and suffering in the real world, the bigger truth about Bragg’s writing is that he so adequately paints the struggles and joys of ordinary individuals.

    I first heard of Bragg and his book from a small-town newspaper editor I worked for in Frankfort, IN. The editor lent me her copy of the book, praising it as superb journalism. Several weeks later, I had finished the book, and my own writing was noticeably stronger. I wrote with much more authority and stepped out of the canned reportage I had become so used to, tightly packing more details into sentences and boldly portraying the emotions of the people I interviewed. Bragg had inspired me to dig deeper, and to seek out the details in the stories that truly mattered. He showed me it was okay to infuse passion into journalism, to make others give a rip about the world around them, as he had done (1).

    As I read the book a second time, as a graduate student and aspiring freelance writer rather than as a journalist for a small daily newspaper, I found myself asking similar questions as I did the first time around, only this time probing deeper. I think about things like how Bragg finds his subjects to interview, how he establishes trust with his interview subjects, and how he effectively communicates a whole story so passionately yet keeps himself removed from it. How, for example, does he come across an office worker at Mount Olive Baptist Church for insight into the KKK march in Jasper, Texas (197)?

    I pay more attention to the beginnings, asking how and why they suck me into the story. “Maybe it will unfold this way,” he begins “A Sugar Bowl Lacking a Certain Sweetness” (135).

    The story, “Emotional March Gains a Repenttant Wallace” begins this way: “The marchers swarmed around the old man in the wheelchair, some to tell him he was forgiven, some to whisper that he could never be forgiven, not today, not a million years from now” (140). Beginnings like these hurl me into stories where I realize I could just as easily be a character as any of the faces Bragg comes across.

    At the same time, I find myself asking what these stories are really about. The piece, “Tried By Deadly tornado, An Anchor of Faith Holds,” (4-8) is not about a big tornado that ripped through a small Alabama town; it’s a story that chronicles how ordinary people suffer and shoulder each others’ pain in the face of an inevitable tragedy.

    “Inmates Find Brief Escape in Rodeo Ring” (28-32) is not about prison inmates who ride bucking bulls in front of a bunch of spectators; it’s about hardened men who long for an escape, who do not feel they are being sacrificed or exploited for the enjoyment of a crowd (30). Bragg spends the time he needs to get to know the fabric of each character and how they are molded by their situations. In a sense, he makes himself one of them in order to most effectively communicate the story.

    *Read Part II of this review on Thursday, April 5. Until then, happy reading, and cheers to digging up and living your own stories.