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June, 2012

  1. Taming the Lack-of-Confidence Beast

    June 28, 2012 by katemeadows

    At a recent Telling Our Life Stories workshop I hosted, a man attended who has been working on his family history longer than I’ve been alive.

    I was daunted at first, wondering what I as a (ahem) young writer could possibly teach him that he didn’t already know.

    That old wavering, persistent voice of insecurity threatened to tear me down. Who did I think I was, offering strangers tips and advice for how to effectively tell their own life stories? Would this man think my presentation was a joke? Would anyone else, for that matter?

    I pushed my fear and doubt aside and did my best to be confident in what I was presenting.

    And you know what? People listened. They asked questions. This man, who was so deep into his own family history, took notes as I talked. He even approached me afterward and asked if we could spend some one-on-one time together so he could get my input on some specific challenges he was facing regarding his project.

    Isn’t it funny how we can so easily doubt ourselves? How easily that familiar fear of failure creeps up on us.

    Online entrepreneur Pat Flynn addresses his own battle with confidence this way:

    “… When I was told by a successful colleague to write an eBook for my site, I thought of every excuse not do it:

    • ‘I don’t know how to make an eBook.’
    • ‘I don’t think it’s going to sell very well.’
    • ‘People will be upset because most of the material can be found for free on the blog already.’
    • ‘I’m not a good writer.’
    • ‘There are probably other books that are way better out there already.’

    This lack of self confidence delayed any sort of action on my eBook, and it was only after several other people begged me to write it, including a couple of my own readers who heard I had thought about it and said they were already waiting to pay for it when it was finished, did I finally take action and do it.”

    As a result, Flynn writes, he finished the book in a couple of months, and it sold very well. After $250,000 in sales, not one person had complained about the same content appearing on the Website. His writing improved as a result of producing the book, and perhaps there were others books out there that were better than his, but it didn’t matter.

    What mattered? He shoved excuses and insecurities aside, put his nose to the grindstone and went to work on something he ultimately believed in. Sure that voice of doubt probably lingered every step of the way, but he tamped it down.

    Fear of failure will always exist. Sneaky nudges of insecurity will always threaten to seep into your work, your attitude. But I think more often than not, the hardest person to convince that we and our work matter is not the complete stranger in the audience or the friend sitting across the table.

    The hardest person to convince that we and our work matter is ourselves.

    Let’s stop being our own worst critics and give ourselves some credit for the good that we do. A little extra dose of believing in yourself can go a long way.

    How do you respond to moments of insecurity?


  2. Hello world!

    June 27, 2012 by admin

    Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!


  3. The Gratitude Journal

    June 21, 2012 by katemeadows

    Recently, I took out my journal and jotted down three things. It had been a hard day. I was beyond exhausted, the pressures of both motherhood and writing pushing in on me from all directions. I felt less than accomplished at both roles, as mother and writer. I could have sat with my journal and poured out my heart and soul, allowing salty tears to drip onto the page as I went.

    But I didn’t.

    Instead, I took five minutes to write down three things I was thankful for:

    -Oreo ice cream at Baskin Robbins

    -a big hug from my son in the morning

    -an especially moving comment on something I had written that had touched someone else

    It was a gratitude journal, of sorts.

    “Thankfulness is a thread that can bind together all the patchwork squares of our lives.”

    These are words from a little snippet on gratitude I keep on my nightstand, a handout the leader of our church’s youth board felt compared to share with the board members, of which I am one.

    “Difficult times, happy days, seasons of sickness, hours of bliss – all can be sewn together into something lively with the thread of thankfulness … We make the choices that turn us into bitter or grateful people … It is a discipline to choose to stitch our days together with the thread of gratitude.”

    When I wrote down three things I was thankful for, more came to me. I could have kept going. The sun. The green grass. The smell of a freshly mowed lawn. These things can be simple. A hug from someone you adore. The taste of something on your tongue.

    God doesn’t shower us with tremendous surprises and gifts every day. But oh, how He constantly works in the little things – the small beauties and precious moments that surround us each day.

    And how easily we take those little things for granted, or sometimes fail to notice them at all.

    It’s easy to get caught up in our failures, the thousand things a day we don’t accomplish. But if we take the time to look, almost always we can find something – even three somethings – to be thankful for, each and every day.

    *What are you thankful for today? If you made a list of three things, what would they be?

     


  4. 3 Things I Learned from Trying Something New

    June 18, 2012 by katemeadows

    On Saturday, I did something new.

    I taught a workshop on a topic I am passionate about: Telling Our Life Stories.

    It was a process, putting the content for the workshop together, organizing it in a way that made sense, and – perhaps the greatest joy and challenge – anticipating the needs and questions of those who attended.

    I was nervous, yes. Nervous that the content I put together might be too general or easy, nervous that my “expertise” might not hold up, nervous that nobody would show.

    But as I got down and into it, both the creating of the event and the sharing, I realized a few things.

    California Pacific Coast, Copyright 2012, Kate Meadows.

    First, I was having fun. By exploring a topic of interest to me – Telling Our Life Stories – I was allowing myself to spend time immersed in something I loved. Good had to come from that, I thought.

    Second, the preparation for the event allowed me to view myself and my work in a different light. I have never considered myself a teacher. Never really thought I had the skills or desire to teach. That might be true if I were talking about a fourth grade classroom or a room full of preschoolers. But give me something I’m passionate about and some listening, interested ears and what do you know, I can find a groove. This workshop also challenged me to think of that word “teacher” in a broader form. I am a teacher every day, as a mother. As a writer, I hope my words speak and shed new or re-discovered light on topics and experiences that are important to others. As a workshop leader, I can aim to inspire and challenge conventional ways of thinking. This workshop allowed me to see that I am a teacher – just perhaps not in the most formal of ways.

    Third, sharing knowledge I’m passionate about with others who are interested in the same subject presented me with an invaluable opportunity to give. Saturday’s workshop was, for me, a small act of service in which I hope I empowered others to think more intentionally about their own life stories and ways they can communicate them. Rather than lecture, I aimed for conversation. And boy, did I strike gold. The conversation that unfolded in that small room on Saturday was entirely a joy to me – and with so many questions and insights, I could be confident that the others who were there were getting something out of it, too.

    What “new thing” is on your bucket list to try? Take the leap – and you just might surprise yourself.


  5. Seeking Certainty in the Haze

    June 14, 2012 by katemeadows

    It’s all there.

    The haze. The forgetfulness. The failure to finish one simple task before beginning another. The anxiety and the million what-ifs.

    What if the room isn’t ready in time? What if he comes early? What if I lose time to write?

    I am a writer. I am a mother. I have a second child due the end of July. How does all of this work together?

    California’s Pacific Coast, Copyright 2012, Bryan Meadows.

    I can let these worries plague me, and believe me, I have my weak moments.

    But in this time of uncertainty, a time where it seems I have more questions than answers, I can also hold on to what I do know – the solid, unfazed truths that will always be in place.

    I am a writer. I will never not be a writer.

    I am a mother. For as long as I live I will love my children for all they’re worth (and then some).

    I am surrounded by loving and compassionate people who care about me and my family. This has been true no matter where we as a family find ourselves due to the moves of the job: Kansas, Nebraska, Indiana, California. Good people exist everywhere.

    No matter where I go or what stage of life I find myself in, I will always have opportunity to serve others. Be it through my work as a writer, my calling as a mother, my community involvement or daily interactions with strangers, calls to service will always exist.

    What if, in the flurry of moments of new motherhood I fail to write every day?

    What if, for some rich, blessed days and weeks, I do nothing but focus on being a mother?

    What if?

    I have to remind myself that the world isn’t going anywhere. I have to remind myself that there is a season for everything under the sun.

    And, I have to remind myself to not take life so darn seriously.

    In these hazy days before the delivery of our second child, the questions and uncertainties abound. Seasons come and go in our lives, and the work we define as most important shifts.

    Shifting is okay.

    The world will always be there. Little ones, in their sweet infancy, won’t.

    What anxiety has been plaguing you lately? What truth can you hold onto through the uncertainty?


  6. Telling Our Life Stories: A Workshop Opportunity

    June 7, 2012 by katemeadows

    Telling Our Life Stories.

    What does that mean, and what does it consist of? How do you do it? Why does it matter?

    These are the questions I have been churning over in my mind this week, as I prepare a workshop to present in a couple of weeks in Anaheim, CA.

    Ragged Point Inn, Pacific Coast, CA, Copyright 2012, Kate Meadows

    As someone who has been writing and sharing stories all my life, I wonder how to pull apart the pieces, how to dissect common sense knowledge from expertise, how to teach interested people about this stuff I find so fascinating.

    Mostly, I want to spark inspiration. I want to plant seeds of hope inside people, encourage them to pursue those projects that may have been nipping at the back of their minds for weeks or months or years. I want to awaken that voice that always says, Someday I want to … [write my family history. Explore the themes that have defined my life up to this point. Get the story of my small business in writing so I can share it with customers, family and friends. Insert your own goal here.]

    Someday. It’s a big, all-encompassing, vague word. I am here to encourage people that the time is now. When, if not now, is that family history, small business history, or personal exploration going to take shape?

    If the answer is someday, it may as well be never.

    My workshop, “Telling Our Life Stories,” will be a springboard, I hope, into the how and why life stories are significant, who they can touch, the messages they can communicate to others. The workshop will be a chance for people to learn, to think more deeply about their projects and effective ways to begin them and tell them.

    I want people to walk away feeling excited and confident about the story they have to tell. The pastor who has amassed tons of genealogical history tracing his family roots? I want to give him a map of how to put it all together in an effective way. The middle-aged woman whose father survived a Hawaii tsunami and tells her about it over the phone all the time? I want to give her resources and ideas for how to turn that story into a legacy that can be passed down to future generations of her family.

    This workshop is broad and far-reaching, with plenty of chances for further conversation and questions about individual projects as we go along.

    And in this space, I will offer myself as a resource, as well. As a writer and editor who can help others more effectively tell their stories, spread their messages, or define the audience they want to ultimately reach.

    If you live in the Orange County area and want to attend this workshop, please come. It will take place at 10 a.m. Saturday, June 16, at Hephatha Lutheran Church (5900 East Santa Ana Canyon Road, Anaheim, CA). The workshop is free.

    If you don’t live in the area but are interested in working with me, please get in touch.

    Above all, if you have a project you have been wanting to pursue – a personal history, family history, or small business history – get serious about it. Choose a few hours a weekend, one weeknight per week, or even a small getaway to start working on it.

    Make the time be now, not someday.

    *If you are working on or want to work on a particular life stories project, what is one nagging question you have about the work involved?

    *If you could start writing your life story today, what would be your opening sentence?


  7. The Power of Authenticity in Story Telling

    June 4, 2012 by katemeadows

    Recently Michael Hyatt – writer, speaker and Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishers -  wrote about the 3 Characteristics  of Marketing: authenticity, generosity, and storytelling.

    I latched on immediately, because of two words: authenticity and storytelling. (Generosity isn’t bad, either.)

    These words go hand-in-hand. Why?

    California Pacific Coast, Copyright 2012, Kate Meadows

    Because storytelling reflects authenticity. Together, they point toward a larger purpose: building relationships.

    This is Hyatt’s point with the new way of marketing, as well. Rather than the rude and impersonal marketing that interrupts – Hyatt mentions a car commercial that is several decibels louder than a particular television program he is tuned into – the new marketing hinges on building relationships, on looking outward and considering others.

    When was the last time you heard a good story? Where were you and what were you doing? Who was talking, and why was that person talking?

    About six months ago I wrote a draft of an essay about being pregnant for a second time. The essay was raw and dang painful in some places because – I admit – pregnancy is not easy for me. I started to write in order to make sense of the myriad emotions cycling through me, and to somehow communicate those emotions to an audience larger than myself. I wanted to explore the complex themes of motherhood and identity, and perhaps figure out where in that wild mix I fit.

    Writing is my way of telling stories. It is a way of reaching people on a deeper level and a way to be real with them. I don’t ever want to be some canned person who responds, “I’m good,” every time someone asks how I am doing.  I want to connect on a deeper level.  I want to be real.

    We tell stories because they matter. We tell stories to preserve memories, etch a heritage, leave a legacy. Telling stories is a form of communication that goes deeper than the “How was your day” or “What’s the weather like” conversations. Real life stories dig beneath the surface to paint a picture of greater meaning, real emotion.

    Good stories have staying power.


  8. Trip Taking Part 2: The Journey

    June 1, 2012 by katemeadows

    “A journey is a person in itself. No two are alike. We find after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.” –John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley

    I awoke on Saturday morning with no butterflies. I was calm, prepared as I could be for our trip up the Pacific Coast Highway (Route 1) – and I knew being prepared meant accepting the unknowns. Who knew if our toddler son would pitch a fit in the backseat after seven hours in the car? I wouldn’t worry about it unless or until it happened. Who knew if I would get carsick along the winding, ragged coast? I stuffed a Ziplock baggie full of ginger chews and vitamin B suckers (a pregnant woman’s friend), threw the baggie in the backpack, decided not to worry about it.

    California Pacific Coast, Copyright 2012, Kate Meadows.

    So many unknowns. The getaway could be daunting, if I let it.

    At the same time, weren’t the unknowns part of what made this trip so enticing? Seeing and experiencing new things?

    We headed out, flying down the 91 freeway and taking detours toward Route 1 – anything to avoid the almost-always traffic-jammed I-5 through LA. The sailing was smooth. We hit the PCH just south of Malibu, and began the long and crooked jaunt up the Pacific Coast.

    We talked about stereotypes, how the ritzy reputation of Malibu didn’t exactly line up with the scrimpy wood-and-metal apartments that lined the PCH and overlooked the ocean. We laughed at road signs – a fish restaurant advertising “Fried Nemo” for lunch, an ocean kayak rental company named Sea for Yourself. Will, our son, pointed out boats and airplanes from his throne in the backseat.

    We planned to make it to Hearst Castle, the former grounds of wealthy newspaper publisher William Randolph Hearst, in time for a late afternoon tour.

    We didn’t get there in time.

    We were too busy taking it slow up the coast, pausing when the moments seemed right, catching a leisurely lunch at the Summerland Beach Café. At the castle’s visitor’s center, upon learning that the last tour of the day had already taken place, we shrugged, gave the Little Man another penny to toss into a glistening fountain. Then, we crossed the highway and moseyed along a pier that offered perhaps one of the most breathtaking panoramic views of the castle anywhere. Young lovers made out on the white sand below us. My husband and I giggled – it could have been us 10 years ago (or even now, sans toddler in tow …).

    Another three miles up the road, we stopped at the Elephant Seal viewing area, and no kidding, enormous blobs of elephant seals – cackling, growling mammals – covered the stretch of beach. We laughed at their noises. Couldn’t help it. A volunteer patrolled the walkway to answer questions. We lingered with her, asking questions every few minutes. Will laughed with us and held onto the hood of his windbreaker tight.

    Elephant Seals on California’s Pacific Coast, Copyright 2012, Kate Meadows

    Further up the road was the place we would stay that first night – The Ragged Point Inn. We checked into the quaint room with a king-sized bed and private balcony that overlooked the ocean. We grabbed a bachelor-like cheap dinner at the mini mart (breakfast burritos, soup, Chef Boyardee), and arrived back at the room in time to watch the sun set over the ocean.

    “The sun looks like it’s just burning a hole in the ground,” my husband remarked as the last neon orange rays sank below the horizon. Flower petals on the lawn below us were the only remnants of a wedding that had taken place on the property earlier that day. We all slept together on the king-sized bed, our son scrunched between us in hot and contented sleep.

    The next morning, I awoke renewed and excited. I lay in the big bed thinking about life stories and how everyone’s experience on this globe is so different. What was the story of the Ragged Point Inn? The couple who was married here less than 24 hours ago? When was the Summerland Beach Café opened? And somewhere, knit into all of that, we certainly had our own story to tell – a Wyoming girl and an Indiana boy making their living as foreigners in California for a short time, now high up on the Pacific Coast experiencing the state in all its blazing glory.

    I could go on about all of the trip’s highlights: the awe-striking beauty and mystery of the Big Sur, waterfalls that plummet to the ocean, bunches of migrant workers still hard at fruit and vegetable picking in Steinbeck’s own town of Salinas.

    But I really don’t mean for this to be a travelogue. Here, I suppose, is my point:

    Sandy hill along Pacific Coast Highway, Copyright 2012, Kate Meadows

    Before we left, I had a long conversation with my mom about how I don’t enjoy or simply focus on “the journey” enough. I am too wrapped up in accomplishment, in achieving an end result to often appreciate the small blessed moments along the way.

    As I look back on our own trip, I can’t help but view it through the lens of that old cliché: Life is not about the destination; it’s about the journey. We never made it to Hearst Castle. But we saw gaggles of elephant seals splayed out for yards and yards along the beach. We didn’t explore much of Monterey Bay or make it to their world-class aquarium. But we saw some of the most breathtaking views of our lives from high up on the craggy ledge of the Pacific Coast. We didn’t dip our feet in the ocean, but we felt the cold spray of forest waterfalls on our faces – the result of stopping at roadside pullouts and exploring dirt ribbons of trail.

    I returned home feeling rejuvenated and, I will admit, a teensy bit proud of myself. Finally, I felt like I had given the journey – and not just the destination – the attention it was worth. Moment by moment up that long jagged highway, and even flying back down the Interstate toward home, I knew I was truly living.

    Sunset, Ragged Point Inn, Copyright 2012, Kate Meadows.

     

    “I like to sit in coffee shops and pass for a native,” Garrison Keilor, the radio personality behind A Prairie Home Companion recently said in an interview with the New York Times. “And so I’ve missed out on the Louvre, the Acropolis, the Roman catacombs, the Lincoln Memorial, because I didn’t want to be taken for a tourist … You set out lumbering down medieval streets, wander impulsively and let yourself get lost and stop for lunch and wander further. When you’re tired of being lost, you hail a cab. That’s a day well spent.”

    How will you spend YOUR day?