An Education in Language
Bits ‘n’ pieces of real-life dialogue
by Kate Meadows
the tourist in hot July:
“I had some girl tie my shoe yesterday.
I forgot what her name was.”
the drug-induced classmate, suddenly awake:
“Are there monkeys in Austria?”
the sociology professor, lecturing on economics:
“Welfare is a pretty dirty word in this country.”
the philosophy professor, who writes his own plays:
“Nothing could be more boring than to watch somebody thinking …
I have no influence, not even in a footnote …
Never trust a philosopher.”
the sweet old lady, chatting with friends around a wood table:
“Whenever I do something like fry fish, I just boil up some of that herbal tea, and it really smells up the place.”
the professor of American Literature, a real democrat:
“What art could possibly produce the insanity our country has gone through the past couple of years?
Is it orange today? Is it yellow?
What color is our terror now?”
the old and pessimistic doctor, among customers in the repair shop:
“My ex-wife, who is my best friend and my girlfriend …”
the high school government teacher / school principal:
“Are you supposed to be humanly – excuse me – humanely treated?”
the history professor, who lectures about Hitler and shows slides of war:
“We’re not as comfortable with revolution, after 200 years of seeing what it has done …
All these jerks have small stature.”
the college roommate, exasperated due to a response from a classmate:
“All over a pair of promiscuous eyebrows.”
*What words or ideas are getting your fancy today?