Last week, a friend gently suggested that I go out and do something … fun. Whether it was just me by myself, or something with my husband and/or son, she wanted me to get out and enjoy life a little.
My heart beat a little harder as I read her email. She was telling me to go have some fun. It bothered me, because it dredged up an old truth about myself: Sometimes I need to be reminded to have fun. That’s what she was doing – reminding me – and I knew I needed that reminder. That’s what bugged me. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to just get out and live.
I have always been that way. People ask, “What do you like to do?” and I’m always like, “Write.” It’s what I do. But then I was thinking this weekend (and I have this thought often), you don’t have anything to write about unless you LIVE.
In some ways, that’s what I am trying to do right now – live. Live through this pregnancy (not survive – I mean, enjoy life), live through this temporary stopping point in California, a place that is so foreign to me, live for whatever the future holds, live for my family.
So, how do I do that? I have never been much of a risk taker. I burn with envy over those in my life who exhibit such spontaneous spirits. Why can’t I be more impulsive, less serious? Sometimes, I want to tattoo myself with the message: Lighten up.
Last night, I got in a tickle fight with my son. I thought, “I can go put that basket of clean laundry away while he plays.” Then I thought better. The laundry can wait. When he’s asking me, “Mommy, come play blocks?” I am going to play blocks.
This weekend, I got into a fit of laughter over my husband doing something entirely normal. I don’t even remember what it was – I just know I couldn’t stop laughing. I had tears in my eyes. And it felt so good.
These are baby steps. I can’t say after my friend’s suggestion I went right out and started climbing a mountain. (She does that – climbs mountains – and I think it’s cool.) But I am gathering ideas of how I can live a little more, get a little more saucy and rise out of the hum-drum of daily life.
It bothered me at first when my friend suggested I get out and live a little. It bothered me because of me. But I thanked her for prodding me along. Sometimes, I need a sharp stick to keep me going.
And now, I am up to the challenge. Visit an art museum? Get a spontaneous manicure? Join a yoga class? I am chewing on all of these.
What would you do to cultivate a sense of fun? Help me out! Signed, the girl who wants to live, and not just survive.